10 Deadly Sins of Negative Thinking
1. I will be happy once I have _____ (or once I earn X).
Problem: If you think you can't be happy until you reach a certain point, or until you reach a certain income, or have a certain type of house or car or computer setup, you'll never be happy. That elusive goal is always just out of reach. Once we reach those goals, we are not satisfied we want more.
Solution: Learn to be happy with what you have, where you are, and who you are, right at this moment. Happiness doesn't have to be some state that we want to get to eventually it can be found right now. Learn to count your blessings, and see the positive in your situation. This might sound simplistic, but it works.
2. I wish I were as ____ as (a celebrity, friend, co-worker).
Problem: We'll never be as pretty, as talented, as rich, as sculpted, as cool, as everyone else. There will always be someone better, if you look hard enough. Therefore, if we compare ourselves to others like this, we will always pale, and will always fail, and will always feel bad about ourselves. This is no way to be happy.
Solution: Stop comparing yourself to others, and look instead at yourself what are your strengths, your accomplishments, your successes, however small? What do you love about yourself? Learn to love who you are, right now, not who you want to become. There is good in each of us, love in each of us, and a wonderful human spirit in every one of us.
3. Seeing others becoming successful makes me jealous and resentful.
Problem: First, this assumes that only a small number of people can be successful. In truth, many, many people can be successful in different ways.
Solution: Learn to admire the success of others, and learn from it, and be happy for them, by empathizing with them and understanding what it must be like to be them. And then turn away from them, and look at yourself you can be successful too, in whatever you choose to do. And even more, you already are successful. Look not at those above you in the social ladder, but those below you there are always millions of people worse off than you, people who couldn't even read this article or afford a computer. In that light, you are a huge success.
4. I am a miserable failure I can't seem to do anything right.
Problem: Everyone is a failure, if you look at it in certain ways. Everyone has failed, many times, at different things. I have certainly failed so many times I cannot count them and I continue to fail, daily. However, looking at your failures as failures only makes you feel bad about yourself. By thinking in this way, we will have a negative self-image and never move on from here.
Solution: See your successes and ignore your failures. Look back on your life, in the last month, or year, or 5 years. And try to remember your successes. If you have trouble with this, start documenting them keep a success journal, either in a notebook or online. Document your success each day, or each week. When you look back at what you've accomplished, over a year, you will be amazed. It's an incredibly positive feeling.
5. I'm going to beat so-and-so no matter what I'm better than him. And there's no way I'll help him succeed he might beat me.
Problem: Competitiveness assumes that there is a small amount of gold to be had, and I need to get it before he does. It makes us into greedy, back-stabbing, hurtful people. We try to claw our way over people to get to success, because of our competitive feelings. For example, if a blogger wants to have more subscribers than another blogger, he may never link to or mention that other blogger. However, who is to say that my subscribers can't also be yours? People can read and subscribe to more than one blog.
Solution: Learn to see success as something that can be shared, and learn that if we help each other out, we can each have a better chance to be successful. Two people working towards a common goal are better than two people trying to beat each other up to get to that goal. There is more than enough success to go around. Learn to think in terms of abundance rather than scarcity.
6. Dammit! Why do these bad things always happen to me?
Problem: Bad things happen to everybody. If we dwell on them, they will frustrate us and bring us down.
Solution: See bad things as a part of the ebb and flow of life. Suffering is a part of the human condition but it passes. All pain goes away, eventually. Meanwhile, don't let it hold you back. Don't dwell on bad things, but look forward towards something good in your future. And learn to take the bad things in stride, and learn from them. Bad things are actually opportunities to grow and learn and get stronger, in disguise.
7. You can't do anything right! Why can't you be like ____ ?
Problem: This can be said to your child or your subordinate or your sibling. The problem? Comparing two people, first of all, is always a fallacy. People are different, with different ways of doing things, different strengths and weaknesses, different human characteristics. If we were all the same, we'd be robots. Second, saying negative things like this to another person never helps the situation. It might make you feel better, and more powerful, but in truth, it hurts your relationship, it will actually make you feel negative, and it will certainly make the other person feel negative and more likely to continue negative behavior. Everyone loses.
Solution: Take the mistakes or bad behavior of others as an opportunity to teach. Show them how to do something. Second, praise them for their positive behavior, and encourage their success. Last, and most important, love them for who they are, and celebrate their differences.
8. Your work sucks. It's super lame. You are a moron and I hope you never reproduce.
Problem: I've actually gotten this comment before. It feels wonderful. However, let's look at it not from the perspective of the person receiving this kind of comment but from the perspective of the person giving it. How does saying something negative like this help you? I guess it might feel good to vent if you feel like your time has been wasted. But really, how much of your time has been wasted? A few minutes? And whose fault is that? The bloggers or yours? In truth, making negative comments just keeps you in a negative mindset. It's also not a good way to make friends.
Solution: Learn to offer constructive solutions, first of all. Instead of telling someone their blog sucks, or that a post is lame, offer some specific suggestions for improvement. Help them get better. If you are going to take the time to make a comment, make it worth your time. Second, learn to interact with people in a more positive way it makes others feel good and it makes you feel better about yourself. And you can make some great friends this way. That's a good thing.
9. Insulting People Back
Problem: If someone insults you or angers you in some way, insulting them back and continuing your anger only transfers their problem to you. This person was probably having a bad day (or a bad year) and took it out on you for some reason. If you reciprocate, you are now having a bad day too. His problem has become yours. Not only that, but the cycle of insults can get worse and worse until it results in violence or other negative consequences for both of you.
Solution: Let the insults or negative comments of others slide off you like Teflon. Don't let their problem become yours. In fact, try to understand their problem more why would someone say something like that? What problems are they going through? Having a little empathy for someone not only makes you understand that their comment is not about you, but it can make you feel and act in a positive manner towards them and make you feel better about yourself in the process.
10. I don't think I can do this I don't have enough discipline. Maybe some other time..
Problem: If you don't think you can do something, you probably won't. Especially for the big stuff. Discipline has nothing to do with it motivation and focus has everything to do with it. And if you put stuff off for “some other time”, you'll never get it done. Negative thinking like this inhibits us from accomplishing anything.
Solution: Turn your thinking around: you can do this! You don't need discipline. Find ways to make yourself a success at your goal. If you fail, learn from your mistakes, and try again. Instead of putting a goal off for later, start now. And focus on one goal at a time, putting all of your energy into it, and getting as much help from others as you can.. You can really move mountains if you start with positive thinking.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Monday, May 11, 2009
speak well live well....prateek
some wonderful english tips from prateek
10 Tips to Speak Correct English
i. Observe the mouth movements of those who speak English well and try to imitate them.
W
hen you are watching television, observe the mouth movements of the speakers. Repeat what they are saying, while
imitating the intonation and rhythm of their speech.
ii. Until you learn the correct intonation and rhythm of English, slow your speech down.
If you speak too quickly, and with the wrong intonation and rhythm, native speakers will have a hard time
understanding you.
Don't worry about your listener getting impatient with your slow speech -- it is more important that everything you say
be understood.
iii. Listen to the 'music' of English.
Do not use the 'music' of your native language when you speak English. Each language has its own way of 'singing'.
iv. Use the dictionary.
Try and familiarise yourself with the phonetic symbols of your dictionary. Look up the correct pronunciation of words
that are hard for you to say.
v. Make a list of frequently used words that you find difficult to pronounce and ask someone
who speaks the language well to pronounce them for you.
Record these words, listen to them and practice saying them. Listen and read at the same time.
vi. Buy books on tape.
Record yourself reading some sections of the book. Compare the sound of your English with that of the person
reading the book on the tape.
vii. Pronounce the ending of each word.
Pay special attention to 'S' and 'ED' endings. This will help you strengthen the mouth muscles that you use when you
speak English.
viii. Read aloud in English for 15-20 minutes every day.
Research has shown it takes about three months of daily practice to develop strong mouth muscles for speaking a
new language.
ix. Record your own voice and listen for pronunciation mistakes.
Many people hate to hear the sound of their voice and avoid listening to themselves speak. However, this is a very
important exercise because doing it will help you become conscious of the mistakes you are making.
x. Be patient.
You can change the way you speak but it won't happen overnight. People often expect instant results and give up too
soon. You can change the way you sound if you are willing to put some effort into it.
from prateek kachalwar
iibm semester II
10 Tips to Speak Correct English
i. Observe the mouth movements of those who speak English well and try to imitate them.
W
hen you are watching television, observe the mouth movements of the speakers. Repeat what they are saying, while
imitating the intonation and rhythm of their speech.
ii. Until you learn the correct intonation and rhythm of English, slow your speech down.
If you speak too quickly, and with the wrong intonation and rhythm, native speakers will have a hard time
understanding you.
Don't worry about your listener getting impatient with your slow speech -- it is more important that everything you say
be understood.
iii. Listen to the 'music' of English.
Do not use the 'music' of your native language when you speak English. Each language has its own way of 'singing'.
iv. Use the dictionary.
Try and familiarise yourself with the phonetic symbols of your dictionary. Look up the correct pronunciation of words
that are hard for you to say.
v. Make a list of frequently used words that you find difficult to pronounce and ask someone
who speaks the language well to pronounce them for you.
Record these words, listen to them and practice saying them. Listen and read at the same time.
vi. Buy books on tape.
Record yourself reading some sections of the book. Compare the sound of your English with that of the person
reading the book on the tape.
vii. Pronounce the ending of each word.
Pay special attention to 'S' and 'ED' endings. This will help you strengthen the mouth muscles that you use when you
speak English.
viii. Read aloud in English for 15-20 minutes every day.
Research has shown it takes about three months of daily practice to develop strong mouth muscles for speaking a
new language.
ix. Record your own voice and listen for pronunciation mistakes.
Many people hate to hear the sound of their voice and avoid listening to themselves speak. However, this is a very
important exercise because doing it will help you become conscious of the mistakes you are making.
x. Be patient.
You can change the way you speak but it won't happen overnight. People often expect instant results and give up too
soon. You can change the way you sound if you are willing to put some effort into it.
from prateek kachalwar
iibm semester II
Thursday, April 23, 2009
tips for exciting speech
5 Tips for Exciting Speeches
1. Open Hot, Close Hotter.
To grab audience attention and be remembered, start the presentation with a bang, not a limp, "Thanks, it's nice to be here." The first (and last) 30 seconds have the most impact on the audience. Save any greetings and gratitude until they've already grabbed the audience with a powerful opening. And don't end with a whimper. Remember that last words linger. Unfortunately, many speakers close with, "Are there any questions?" Wrong! Instead, say, "Before I close, are there any questions?" Answer them. Then close on a high note.
2. Get the Inside Scoop.
Attendees at one of my seminars, "How to Be a Coach to Your Client," want to know how they can personalize and add excitement and color to the speeches they craft for others. How, they ask, can they get those invaluable inside stories? I suggested they do what I do--interview the speaker's client's colleagues and family members. These people are familiar with the "stories" the speaker often tells, stories that have already been honed to what I call the "Hollywood model" (characters, dialogue, dramatic lesson learned). What insights and amusing stories can they share? Advise your members to ask others for input that can provide color and energy to a presentation.
3. Try Inside-Out Speaking.
Don't write speeches for people to read. Instead, sit down with them, in person or on the phone, and ask them questions. I do this, pulling out of them their ideas, stories, life experiences, philosophies, and examples through questions. Then my job is to help them organize, wordsmith, and deliver these comments with more drama.
Although the client and I often end up with a script that can then be edited and tightened, the words grow out of our conversations. I call this "inside-out" speaking. My work represents a cleaned-up conversation; one the speaker is going to have with the audience. Of course, a script is not a conversation, but if it sounds conversational, it is far more appealing and much easier to deliver directly to the audience without reading it word for word. Emotional contact is impossible without eye contact.
4. Provide Five Magic Moments.
How are great speeches like classic Hollywood movies? Movie promoters say that a successful film has to have five magic moments for each viewer, though not necessarily the same five. When it does, people will talk about it and add enough energy to a paid advertising campaign to make it a hit.
Be sure each presentation has five great moments--dramatic, humorous, profound, or poignant--that the audience can relive in their minds later and repeat to their friends.
5. Avoid Borrowed Stories.
I urge you to create vivid, personal stories for their presentations. Imagine how I once felt, sitting in an audience of 18,000 people, listening to Barbara Bush describe a great story she had read in Chicken Soup for the Soul--my own story which made the point, "What you do speaks louder than what you say." (Yes, I know Ralph Waldo Emerson said it first.) Did Barbara Bush mention it was my story? No.
But even if she had mentioned my name, I think she missed a huge opportunity with her speech. Back then; I imagined her sitting in bed at the White House, going through stacks of books with a highlighter pen for things to talk about. Since then, I've realized that a speech writer did the research and wrote her words. My point? I'm not upset she didn't credit me. Just disappointed that someone with Barbara Bush's incredible life experiences did not share them. I am sure she had much more interesting recent topics and perceptions than reporting on something someone said to me many years ago. That's how audiences will feel if your members repeat things they've read instead of experienced.
sanjeev kumar semester II
1. Open Hot, Close Hotter.
To grab audience attention and be remembered, start the presentation with a bang, not a limp, "Thanks, it's nice to be here." The first (and last) 30 seconds have the most impact on the audience. Save any greetings and gratitude until they've already grabbed the audience with a powerful opening. And don't end with a whimper. Remember that last words linger. Unfortunately, many speakers close with, "Are there any questions?" Wrong! Instead, say, "Before I close, are there any questions?" Answer them. Then close on a high note.
2. Get the Inside Scoop.
Attendees at one of my seminars, "How to Be a Coach to Your Client," want to know how they can personalize and add excitement and color to the speeches they craft for others. How, they ask, can they get those invaluable inside stories? I suggested they do what I do--interview the speaker's client's colleagues and family members. These people are familiar with the "stories" the speaker often tells, stories that have already been honed to what I call the "Hollywood model" (characters, dialogue, dramatic lesson learned). What insights and amusing stories can they share? Advise your members to ask others for input that can provide color and energy to a presentation.
3. Try Inside-Out Speaking.
Don't write speeches for people to read. Instead, sit down with them, in person or on the phone, and ask them questions. I do this, pulling out of them their ideas, stories, life experiences, philosophies, and examples through questions. Then my job is to help them organize, wordsmith, and deliver these comments with more drama.
Although the client and I often end up with a script that can then be edited and tightened, the words grow out of our conversations. I call this "inside-out" speaking. My work represents a cleaned-up conversation; one the speaker is going to have with the audience. Of course, a script is not a conversation, but if it sounds conversational, it is far more appealing and much easier to deliver directly to the audience without reading it word for word. Emotional contact is impossible without eye contact.
4. Provide Five Magic Moments.
How are great speeches like classic Hollywood movies? Movie promoters say that a successful film has to have five magic moments for each viewer, though not necessarily the same five. When it does, people will talk about it and add enough energy to a paid advertising campaign to make it a hit.
Be sure each presentation has five great moments--dramatic, humorous, profound, or poignant--that the audience can relive in their minds later and repeat to their friends.
5. Avoid Borrowed Stories.
I urge you to create vivid, personal stories for their presentations. Imagine how I once felt, sitting in an audience of 18,000 people, listening to Barbara Bush describe a great story she had read in Chicken Soup for the Soul--my own story which made the point, "What you do speaks louder than what you say." (Yes, I know Ralph Waldo Emerson said it first.) Did Barbara Bush mention it was my story? No.
But even if she had mentioned my name, I think she missed a huge opportunity with her speech. Back then; I imagined her sitting in bed at the White House, going through stacks of books with a highlighter pen for things to talk about. Since then, I've realized that a speech writer did the research and wrote her words. My point? I'm not upset she didn't credit me. Just disappointed that someone with Barbara Bush's incredible life experiences did not share them. I am sure she had much more interesting recent topics and perceptions than reporting on something someone said to me many years ago. That's how audiences will feel if your members repeat things they've read instead of experienced.
sanjeev kumar semester II
LETS GET HAPPY by subra sahoo
KEYS TO HAPPINESS
• There are many ways for people to be unhappy, but happy people have common characteristics.
• A good way to be happy is to learn the common characteristics of happy people and apply them.
SECRETS OF HAPPY PEOPLE
1. Forget the past:
• There‘s nothing one can do about the past so one should better let them go and focus his energy on the present.
• One can never be happy if he carries the burden of the past.
2. Take responsibility for your life:
• The secret of happiness is freedom,and the secret of freedom,courage.
• To be happy you should have freedom and the most essential freedom is the freedom to choose.
• Freedom to choose requires the courage to take responsibility for your life. You shouldn’t blame someone else when something goes wrong.
3. Build Relationships:
• Relationships is where we can get true happiness in life.
• Through relationships we can love and be loved.
• Life‘s truest happiness is found in friendships we make along the way.
4. Develop Multiple Passions:
• The more passions and desires one has, the more ways one has of being happy.
• The key to expanding to new passions is curiosity. If you are curious, you will have an endless stream of exciting things waiting for you.
5. Build your character:
• When you are true to yourself and others, you will be in peace.
• The way to start building character is by making promises and keeping them.
6. Be who you are:
• You can only be happy if you become who you are.
• Don’t live other people’s life by trying to meet their expectations.
7.Live your life purpose:
• To have a fulfilling life, you should find your life purpose and follow it faithfully.
8. Count your blessings:
• Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
• Look at what you have and soon you will have plenty of reasons to be happy.
9. Have Positive mind:
• Happy People always believe that no matter how bad a situation seems, there is always something positive to take from it.
1 0. Work Creatively:
• Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort.
• When you work creatively on something you will find happiness.
11. Start with what you have:
• Happy people learn to be happy with what they have.
• Be content with what you have and you will be happy.
12. Change:
• They must often change who would be constant in happiness or wisdom.
• Being happy requires you to constantly grow.
• The process of learning is essential for happiness.
13. Use your talents:
• Working in your talents is a sure way to enjoy your work because it’s something you are “hardwired” to do.
• Using your talents fully will make you even happier because of the satisfaction of doing your best.
14. Beware of small things:
• The happiness of most people is not ruined by great catastrophes or fatal errors, but by the repetition of slowly destructive little things.
15. Distill your ambitions:
• While wanting to achieve more in life is good, being obsessed by it is not.
16. Make others happy:
• Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.
• Happiness doesn’t come through selfishness but through selflessness.
17. Practice compassion:
• Compassion can make both others and you happy.
• Start with thinking about the people around you. Look at their needs and find ways to meet them.
• Even if you don’t do it out of compassion in the beginning, your compassion will grow over time.
CONCLUSION
• Happiness depends upon ourselves.
• Its you who decide whether or not you are happy in life.
subra sahoo
• There are many ways for people to be unhappy, but happy people have common characteristics.
• A good way to be happy is to learn the common characteristics of happy people and apply them.
SECRETS OF HAPPY PEOPLE
1. Forget the past:
• There‘s nothing one can do about the past so one should better let them go and focus his energy on the present.
• One can never be happy if he carries the burden of the past.
2. Take responsibility for your life:
• The secret of happiness is freedom,and the secret of freedom,courage.
• To be happy you should have freedom and the most essential freedom is the freedom to choose.
• Freedom to choose requires the courage to take responsibility for your life. You shouldn’t blame someone else when something goes wrong.
3. Build Relationships:
• Relationships is where we can get true happiness in life.
• Through relationships we can love and be loved.
• Life‘s truest happiness is found in friendships we make along the way.
4. Develop Multiple Passions:
• The more passions and desires one has, the more ways one has of being happy.
• The key to expanding to new passions is curiosity. If you are curious, you will have an endless stream of exciting things waiting for you.
5. Build your character:
• When you are true to yourself and others, you will be in peace.
• The way to start building character is by making promises and keeping them.
6. Be who you are:
• You can only be happy if you become who you are.
• Don’t live other people’s life by trying to meet their expectations.
7.Live your life purpose:
• To have a fulfilling life, you should find your life purpose and follow it faithfully.
8. Count your blessings:
• Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
• Look at what you have and soon you will have plenty of reasons to be happy.
9. Have Positive mind:
• Happy People always believe that no matter how bad a situation seems, there is always something positive to take from it.
1 0. Work Creatively:
• Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort.
• When you work creatively on something you will find happiness.
11. Start with what you have:
• Happy people learn to be happy with what they have.
• Be content with what you have and you will be happy.
12. Change:
• They must often change who would be constant in happiness or wisdom.
• Being happy requires you to constantly grow.
• The process of learning is essential for happiness.
13. Use your talents:
• Working in your talents is a sure way to enjoy your work because it’s something you are “hardwired” to do.
• Using your talents fully will make you even happier because of the satisfaction of doing your best.
14. Beware of small things:
• The happiness of most people is not ruined by great catastrophes or fatal errors, but by the repetition of slowly destructive little things.
15. Distill your ambitions:
• While wanting to achieve more in life is good, being obsessed by it is not.
16. Make others happy:
• Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.
• Happiness doesn’t come through selfishness but through selflessness.
17. Practice compassion:
• Compassion can make both others and you happy.
• Start with thinking about the people around you. Look at their needs and find ways to meet them.
• Even if you don’t do it out of compassion in the beginning, your compassion will grow over time.
CONCLUSION
• Happiness depends upon ourselves.
• Its you who decide whether or not you are happy in life.
subra sahoo
life skill tips
Practice Forgiveness For A Healthier Life
Forgive And Forget
Nearly every day in our lives, if we are out and about, we will run into people who are unpleasant, obnoxious and downright nasty. It could be on the road, in the supermarket, in the workplace or any other location were we come into contact with people with differing views.
Perhaps those people see us as unpleasant, obnoxious and downright nasty and maybe sometimes we are, knowingly or unknowingly, the agitators.
If we hold on to the nasty comments of other people or our own, over time, it will swell into a river of negative thoughts. Therefore, it is best to forgive and forget any past unpleasantness.
It is also very important to forgive ourselves for any transgressions our emotional ego's may sometimes commit. Both forms of forgiving (self and other people) are very important if we are to remain healthy and disease free.
A mind filled with resentments and hates will fill the body full of cancer, heart failure and other debilitating illnesses over a period of years ... Hence, forgiveness is a powerful medicine and sometimes may be a hard pill to swallow.
My Jewish name is Menacha, which means to forgive. I may kid around with negative people and sometimes speak my mind about their negative approach but I wish them all well and they should all live a prosperous life in love and joy despite their inner Goliaths.
When anger or resentments come into our mind towards others, who have done us a disservice, we should learn to turn their insults into creative ideas from our heart and soul. In other words, turn a negative remark from others into a positive idea that can produce great results for future prosperity.
Enjoy each moment on earth and don't allow other peoples negative comments to steal the joy of the moment.
sukhwinder singh
semester II
Forgive And Forget
Nearly every day in our lives, if we are out and about, we will run into people who are unpleasant, obnoxious and downright nasty. It could be on the road, in the supermarket, in the workplace or any other location were we come into contact with people with differing views.
Perhaps those people see us as unpleasant, obnoxious and downright nasty and maybe sometimes we are, knowingly or unknowingly, the agitators.
If we hold on to the nasty comments of other people or our own, over time, it will swell into a river of negative thoughts. Therefore, it is best to forgive and forget any past unpleasantness.
It is also very important to forgive ourselves for any transgressions our emotional ego's may sometimes commit. Both forms of forgiving (self and other people) are very important if we are to remain healthy and disease free.
A mind filled with resentments and hates will fill the body full of cancer, heart failure and other debilitating illnesses over a period of years ... Hence, forgiveness is a powerful medicine and sometimes may be a hard pill to swallow.
My Jewish name is Menacha, which means to forgive. I may kid around with negative people and sometimes speak my mind about their negative approach but I wish them all well and they should all live a prosperous life in love and joy despite their inner Goliaths.
When anger or resentments come into our mind towards others, who have done us a disservice, we should learn to turn their insults into creative ideas from our heart and soul. In other words, turn a negative remark from others into a positive idea that can produce great results for future prosperity.
Enjoy each moment on earth and don't allow other peoples negative comments to steal the joy of the moment.
sukhwinder singh
semester II
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
FREE ONLINE E BOOKS by suyash srivastav
hi to all book lovers. if you need any e book. you can get a link from suyash srivastav
prince gera
prince gera
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
what a report!!! on G20 CHANDRA PADMJA
hi everyone. anybody who wishes to know some more about G20 summit. please get in touch with chandra padmja for such a wonderful and detailed report.
prince gera
prince gera
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